MOTHER 29/12/23

I'm so unbelievably overwhelmed. There's so much I want to say that I don't know where to begin but let me start by saying THANK YOU. If you told me last year that I would release an album and get MORE support than I got before the decline of the industry I wouldn't have believed you. Every single one of you that supported MOTHER have made this probably my favourite album I've ever released. I can't express my gratitude and appreciation for you all enough. I'm overwhelmed.

This album was really hard to create. I started to work on it in 2020. It's funny because in 2020 I was in a pretty bad headspace. I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, depression, and I was in a relationship that with hindsight was not a relationship I wanted to be in. I remember when I started working on MOTHER (at the time it was titled Love Emergency,) I wanted it to be an album about someone falling in love. But for so long it just didn't make any sense to me. I remember I was listening to the first few drafts and it just didn't work. Even though looking back, sonically the first few drafts work, just in my head they make no sense. It breaks my heart to say but I think that's because what I was experiencing wasn't true love.

Cut to 2023 and surprise the relationship ended. I was heartbroken, alone, and I feeling stupid and used. That's where MCX came in. "you should've had the decency to vanish up your own arse." I remember my relationship ended in November 2022, I kept it private, and then in i wanna say late march (or early april?) I released this album. This album was my own way of processing what had just happened to me. I remember I was in Barcelona in March on vacation (where there was supposed to be two of us), and I was alone unexpectedly walking to some stupid art gallery listening to this playlist I made of songs from recent albums I liked and suddenly things just started to make sense. I started to piece together the meaning of that album and fully start to process what had happened to me, because I think until then I had been in denial. And then the album got released mere weeks later. And then in May I happened to meet the love of my life.

The reason I say all this is because, at the time in 2020 I remember wondering why I couldn't just release the album. And the reason was because I wasn't ready. I had to experience the heartbreak of 2022/early 2023 to fully understand the meaning behind MOTHER. When I revisited MOTHER in late July of this year I was looking at it from the perspective that I initially thought I was looking at it. I was looking at it from the perspective of somebody who was in love, not somebody who was pretending to themselves that they were in love ala 2020.

I say all of this because I truly believe MOTHER to be a love album. It's a love letter to my partner, the women in my life, my mother, and myself. It's an album of love towards all things gay, feminine, and joyous. I keep referencing my previous album only because it had such an influence on MOTHER but when I released MCX; it was full of sadness. I wanted MC11 (MOTHER) to be the antithesis of that.

Another aspect of MOTHER was gay life. I realized in late 2022 I had never created an album that truly celebrated my identity. It's funny because I only actually came out to my family in 2019. So I hadn't actually released any MsCamaraderie projects as an openly gay man. I only actually brought my mother to pride last year for the first time in my life. Theres this gay bar in Dublin called The George located next to a shop called Spar and I have this demo 10th album thats called "the spar beside the george" LOOL and I think that was my first exploration into gay shit habbo music wise. I've always been gay, everything I've done has been gay, but I truly feel like MOTHER has been my first unapologetically GAY album. It celebrates everything GAY. It's camp its ridiculous, it's overly serious, it's stupid, it's fashionable its GAY BITCH.

There are no sad heartbreak songs on MOTHER. It's a hopeful and gay album lol. IDK I Just really wanted to create something happy and joyous and fucking fun to listen to. For the first time in my life I can't wait to see what the new year brings. If it's even 1/4 as good as 2023 was for me, heartbreak and all, then I'll be happy. I can't wait to show you all what I have planned. Visuals, a tour, glastonbury (SORRY KELLAE FOR LEAK.. iono if its been announced yet), remix album, maybe sumn else.. IDK...

Side note: It's been unusual too because as of 2023 I've been revisiting a lot of my old work. ANATOMY, Thunder, Temple (temple official 10 year anniversary in 2024 but I've started work on its celebration this month). It's funny because I look back at my 16 year old self and my heart just breaks for who he was. I can't believe how insecure I was. I wish I had come out sooner so my life could really begin. Like when I listen to ANATOMY, Thunder, The Vibe etc.... I remember someone who was desperately trying to fit in by standing out, someone who had experienced none of that was referenced in those albums but wanted to. When I look back I'm filled with sadness, but at least I know it gets better for that person. Things will work out, things will start to make sense. Your life will start to fit together like a jigsaw all before you realize it's even happening and before you know it you're writing a retrospective to your mscamaraderie.com website that you pay far too much for but its okay because you work in sales and you can take the hit due to you monthly commission.

IONO

Thank you all for always supporting me. I love each and every one of you. I can't fucking wait for 2024.